In this article, get ready to enjoy a collection of hilarious Scrooge jokes that are bound to bring a smile to your face! This iconic character from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol” is known for his grumpy and stingy demeanor, making him the perfect target for some clever and witty jokes. Whether you’re a fan of the classic tale or just in need of a good laugh, these jokes are sure to brighten your day.
From witty one-liners to clever puns, these Scrooge jokes capture the essence of this infamous character in a lighthearted and humorous way. Whether you’re familiar with Ebenezer Scrooge’s story or not, these jokes are sure to entertain and leave you chuckling at his expense. So sit back, relax, and prepare to dive into the world of Scrooge jokes that will have you feeling merry and bright in no time!
Best Scrooge Jokes
Here’s five jokes about Scrooge:
1. Why did Scrooge go to the doctor? He had a bad case of “miser-able-itis!”
2. What did Scrooge say before he wrote a Christmas card? “Bah, humbug!”
3. How does Scrooge take his coffee? Decaf. He doesn’t want to spend any extra jingle!
4. Why was Scrooge always cold during the winter? Because he never wanted to shell out for a decent coat!
5. What did Scrooge say to the ghost of Christmas past? “Can’t we just skip ahead to the discounts on Boxing Day?”
Family Friendly Scrooge Jokes
Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Scrooge:
1. Why did Scrooge take a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What did Scrooge say when he found a penny on the ground? “Bah! Humbug!”
3. Why did Scrooge go to the beach? He heard the sand was free!
4. How does Scrooge take his coffee? With a “thank you, next!”
5. Why did Scrooge bring a ladder to the bakery? He heard they had great “loaf” deals!
6. What did Scrooge say when he got a discount at the store? “It’s a Christmas miracle!”
7. Why did Scrooge refuse to play hide and seek with his nephews? Because every time they found him, he said, “I was never hiding, just seeking solitude!”
8. How did Scrooge react when he won the lottery? He said, “More money, more problems!”
9. Why did Scrooge bring a flashlight to the movie theater? He heard they were showing a film on “saving money!”
10. How did Scrooge react when he saw a “buy one get one free” sign? He said, “I’ll pass, one is quite enough!”
11. Why did Scrooge start a gardening business? Because he heard it was a great way to make some green!
12. How did Scrooge react when he found out the restaurant had an “all you can eat” buffet? He said, “I can eat a lot, but not all!”
13. Why did Scrooge bring a map to the amusement park? He wanted to make sure he didn’t go over the “fun-budget”!
14. What did Scrooge say when he won a free cruise? “Well, it better be a frugal trip!”
15. How did Scrooge react when he found a dollar on the sidewalk? He said, “This won’t change my mindset!”
16. Why did Scrooge bring a calculator to the grocery store? He wanted to make sure he didn’t exceed the “bill” limit!
17. What did Scrooge say when he received a gift card for his birthday? “Well, I guess I have to spend money now.”
18. How did Scrooge react when he saw a “half-off” sale? He said, “That’s still half too much!”
19. Why did Scrooge bring a ruler to the furniture store? He wanted to measure every penny he was spending!
20. What did Scrooge say when he saw a “free samples” sign at the bakery? “I’ll take one…and chew it slowly!”
Scrooge Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes
1. Why did Scrooge go to the hardware store? To buy a new lock for his money bin.
2. How does Scrooge celebrate Christmas? By counting his money.
3. What did Scrooge say when asked for a donation? “Bah, humbug!”
4. Why did Scrooge refuse to donate to charity? Because he said his wallet was on a strict diet.
5. What do you call a Scrooge who loves to save money? A penny-pinching miser.
6. Why did Scrooge never play hide and seek? Because he always kept his money hidden.
7. How did Scrooge lose all his friends? By constantly complaining about spending money.
8. What’s Scrooge’s favorite type of music? The sound of coins clicking together.
9. How does Scrooge tip at restaurants? By leaving behind a single rusty coin.
10. Why did Scrooge invest in a money tree? So he could watch his investment grow.
11. Why did Scrooge always carry a calculator? To ensure he never overspent a single penny.
12. What do you call a Scrooge at a buffet? A hoarder of appetizers.
13. Why did Scrooge refuse to buy a new car? Because he said his old one had plenty of mileage left in it.
14. Why did Scrooge refuse to buy a pet? Because he didn’t want to spend a dime on food or toys.
15. How does Scrooge budget for vacations? By only going on virtual tours from his computer.
16. What did Scrooge say when asked for a loan? “I’d rather swim in a pool of pennies.”
17. How does Scrooge stay warm in the winter? By counting his money in front of a roaring fireplace.
18. Why did Scrooge refuse to join a book club? Because he said books were a waste of money.
19. What did Scrooge say when asked to upgrade his phone? “Why fix what isn’t broken?”
20. How does Scrooge show affection? By giving out coupons for hugs.
Scrooge Dad Jokes
1. Why did Scrooge go to the doctor? Because he had a penny stuck in his ear and couldn’t hear Christmas carols!
2. What did Scrooge say when he saw a ghost? “Boo-humbug!”
3. How does Scrooge take his coffee? With a little bit of “bah humbug” creamer.
4. Why did Scrooge bring a ladder to the Christmas party? He heard they’d be serving “high spirits”!
5. What did Scrooge say when he found out he had a secret Santa? “I hope it’s a refund for all these wasted Christmas presents!”
6. Why did Scrooge refuse to play cards on Christmas Eve? Because he didn’t want to “deck the halls”!
7. How did Scrooge react when he saw his Christmas tree was missing? He said, “I guess it decided to branch out and leave!”
8. Why did Scrooge refuse to buy a new hat for the winter? Because he was already “beanie cheap”!
9. How does Scrooge stay warm during the winter? He stands next to the fire and counts his “hot-cross buns”!
10. Why did Scrooge bring a ruler to the Christmas feast? To make sure the Christmas pudding wasn’t “shortchanged”!
11. What did Scrooge say when he found out his favorite store was having a sale? “Now that’s what I call a jolly good discount!”
12. Why did Scrooge refuse to sing Christmas carols? He said he was “tone-deaf to holiday cheer”!
13. What did Scrooge say when he received a fruitcake for Christmas? “I guess this is what they mean by ‘bah hum-bun’!”
14. Why did Scrooge refuse to wear a Christmas sweater? He said it was “too warm and fuzzy” for his liking!
15. What did Scrooge say when someone asked him if he was excited for the holidays? “Excited? I’m more like ‘excited to miss work’!”
16. Why did Scrooge bring a map to the Christmas party? Because he heard they were going to “sleigh” it!
17. What did Scrooge say when someone asked if he wanted to build a snowman? “I’d rather build a profit margin, thank you very much!”
18. Why did Scrooge refuse to hang mistletoe in his house? He said it was “too much overhead for a little holiday cheer”!
19. What did Scrooge say when someone told him to have a Holly Jolly Christmas? “I’d rather have a Holly Jolly profit margin!”
20. Why did Scrooge refuse to watch a Christmas movie? He said it was “too sentimental for his taste”!
Scrooge Surreal Jokes
1. Why did Scrooge bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
2. What did Scrooge say when he saw a ghost in his house? “Sorry, we don’t serve spirits here!”
3. How does Scrooge like his coffee? Grounded into a fine powder!
4. Why did Scrooge take a clock to the therapist? He wanted to work on his “time management” issues!
5. What did Scrooge do when he found a penny on the ground? He invested it in his “penny stock” portfolio!
6. Why did Scrooge refuse to eat the Christmas turkey? He thought it was a “fowl” play!
7. How does Scrooge like his eggs? He doesn’t, he’s too “shellfish”!
8. Why did Scrooge bring a shovel to the office? He heard there were some “groundbreaking” ideas being discussed!
9. What did Scrooge do when he found a hole in his pocket? He called it his “change purse”!
10. Why did Scrooge become a musician? He heard there was a lot of “note”-worthy potential!
11. What did Scrooge say when he saw a spider in his house? “Looks like we have a new tenant, hope they don’t get caught in the web of rent!”
12. Why did Scrooge bring a magnifying glass to the beach? He heard the sands were “fine-print” sized!
13. How did Scrooge learn to juggle? By balancing his checkbook!
14. Why did Scrooge refuse to play hide and seek with his money? He was afraid it would get lost in “hide-fi”!
15. What did Scrooge say when he heard a joke about money? “That’s a real ‘currency’ of humor!”
16. Why did Scrooge bring a dictionary to the comedy club? He wanted to look up all the “punchlines”!
17. How did Scrooge fix his broken heart? With some “love quarters” and a bit of “emotional cents”!
18. Why did Scrooge bring a tape measure to the party? He wanted to make sure the dance floor had enough “square feet” for his moves!
19. What did Scrooge say when he saw a rainbow? “I bet there’s a pot of gold at the end of that, and I’m going to find it!”
20. Why did Scrooge bring a map to the library? He heard there were some “plot twists” in the book he wanted to find!
Scrooge Dark Humor Jokes
Here’s some funny Scrooge jokes for adults:
1. Why did Scrooge go to the therapist? To learn how to stop being a selfish ba-humbug!
2. What’s Scrooge’s favorite Christmas carol? “All I Want for Christmas is Your Money.”
3. How does Scrooge stay warm during the winter? He sits by the fire burning money instead of logs.
4. Why did Scrooge refuse to play hide and seek? Because good luck finding someone who wants to hide with him.
5. What did Scrooge give out for Halloween treats? IOU notes for candy.
6. How does Scrooge decorate his Christmas tree? With dollar bills instead of ornaments.
7. Why did Scrooge bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house.
8. Why did Scrooge take up gardening? So he could plant his money and watch it grow.
9. What did Scrooge give for Secret Santa at work? A framed picture of himself with the caption “To Me, From Me.”
10. How did Scrooge react when he got a raise at work? He asked if he could take a pay cut instead.
11. Why doesn’t Scrooge ever win at poker? Because he can’t stand to part with his precious chips.
12. Who does Scrooge invite to his holiday party? The ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future Ð because they never eat or drink anything.
13. Why did Scrooge join the gym? Because he heard they have a “pay-as-you-don’t-go” membership option.
14. How does Scrooge take his coffee? Black, like his soul.
15. Why did Scrooge refuse to play Monopoly with the family? Because he said it hits too close to home.
16. What’s Scrooge’s favorite holiday movie? “How the Grinch Stole Christmas Ð and Sold It on eBay.”
17. How does Scrooge define charity? Giving just enough to get a tax deduction.
18. Why did Scrooge become a stock trader? Because he wanted to see his money multiply faster than the ghosts in his bedroom.
19. What does Scrooge consider a successful day at the office? When he leaves with more staples than he came in with.
20. Why did Scrooge get kicked out of the pet store? Because he kept asking if they had any “buy one, get one free” deals on pets.
How to Use Scrooge Jokes In a Conversation?
One way to add some humor to your conversations is by incorporating Scrooge jokes. These jokes are a fun way to lighten the mood and bring a smile to everyone’s face. Here are some tips on how to use Scrooge jokes in a conversation:
Start with a Relevant Situation
When introducing a Scrooge joke into the conversation, try to find a relevant situation to tie it to. For example, if someone is being a bit stingy with sharing snacks, you could say, “Wow, you’re being a real Scrooge today!” This not only brings in the humor but also makes the joke more relatable to the moment.
Timing is Key
As with any joke, timing is crucial when using Scrooge jokes in a conversation. Look for a natural pause in the discussion or a lighthearted moment to bring in the joke. Avoid interrupting or forcing the joke into the conversation, as it may come across as out of place or awkward.
Keep it Light-hearted
Remember that the goal of using Scrooge jokes is to add some fun and laughter to the conversation. Keep the tone light-hearted and be mindful of the reaction of those around you. If the joke is well-received, you can continue to incorporate more jokes throughout the conversation. However, if it falls flat, it’s best to move on and find another way to engage with the group.
Use Variety
Don’t be afraid to mix up the types of Scrooge jokes you use in a conversation. You can incorporate puns, one-liners, or even create your own twist on a classic Scrooge story. By using a variety of jokes, you can keep the conversation fresh and entertaining for everyone involved.
By following these tips, you can successfully incorporate Scrooge jokes into your conversations and bring a playful energy to any social setting. So go ahead, sprinkle in some humor and watch as the laughs roll in!
Final words
In conclusion, the enduring popularity of scrooge jokes reflects our collective enjoyment of poking fun at miserly behavior and delighting in the absurdity of extreme penny-pinching. From groan-worthy puns to clever one-liners, there is a scrooge joke out there for every sense of humor. The creativity and wit behind these jokes serve as a reminder to not take things too seriously and to find humor in the mundane aspects of life. As we embrace the holiday spirit, let’s raise a toast to the hillarious scrooge jokes that never fail to bring a smile to our faces and remind us to be generous and kind-hearted, even in the face of cynicism and thriftiness.