Unleash your inner child with a collection of hillarious kermit jokes that are sure to have you laughing out loud. The iconic Muppet character, Kermit the Frog, is known for his dry wit and sarcastic sense of humor, making him the perfect subject for a good joke. Whether you’re a fan of The Muppet Show or just enjoy a good laugh, these jokes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face.
From puns to one-liners, these kermit jokes cover a wide range of humor styles, ensuring there’s something for everyone to enjoy. Kermit’s witty comebacks and observations about life are sure to resonate with audiences of all ages, making these jokes a fun and light-hearted way to brighten your day.
So sit back, relax, and prepare to be entertained by the misadventures of everyone’s favorite green frog. Whether you’re reminiscing about classic Muppet moments or discovering Kermit’s humor for the first time, these jokes are a delightful way to add some laughter to your day.
Best Kermit Jokes
Here’s five jokes about Kermit:
1. Why did Kermit go to the bank? To open a “green” savings account!
2. What do you call it when Kermit takes up painting? A frog-artist!
3. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!
4. How did Kermit make his computer more green? By installing a recycling bin!
5. What does Kermit say when he’s surprised? “Well, that’s ribbiting!”
Family Friendly Kermit Jokes
Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Kermit:
1. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the barbeque? To reach the high flies!
2. What did Kermit say to Miss Piggy when she asked for a kiss? “It’s not easy being green and taken!”
3. How does Kermit keep in shape? By doing lots of frog-ercise!
4. Why did Kermit carry a baseball bat to the pond? In case he needed to hit a home toad!
5. What’s Kermit’s favorite game show? “The Frog is Right!”
6. Why did Kermit go to school? To become a real hop scholar!
7. What did Kermit say when he locked himself out of the house? “I guess it’s not that easy being outside either!”
8. How does Kermit stay cool in the summer? He hops into the nearest pond-let!
9. Why did Kermit bring a car to the dance? He heard it was going to be a toadally awesome party!
10. What did Kermit say when he found a four-leaf clover? “I must be one lucky frog!”
11. Why did Kermit refuse to play hide and seek with Fozzie Bear? Because he heard Fozzie was really good at bear-y-ing secrets!
12. How does Kermit like his coffee? With a little bit of croak-er cream and sugar!
13. What did Kermit say when he won the frog jumping contest? “I guess I’m just a leap above the rest!”
14. Why did Kermit join the band? He heard they were looking for a new lead ribbiter!
15. What did Kermit say to the mosquito at the pond? “Buzz off, I’m not in the mood for a blood donation!”
16. Why did Kermit go to the doctor? He was feeling a little green around the gills!
17. What’s Kermit’s favorite dessert? Frog-leg pie Ð just kidding, he prefers flies cream!
18. Why did Kermit go to the beach? He heard it was the best plaice to catch some rays!
19. What did Kermit say to the snail on his lily pad? “You really shell-ed out for that slimy suite!”
20. Why did Kermit bring a map to the farm? He heard there were a-maize-ing adventures waiting for him!
Kermit Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes
1. Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy? She was always hogging the limelight!
2. How does Kermit stay in shape? He does the frog-ercise!
3. Why is Kermit the frog so great at math? He knows how to carry the two, ribbit!
4. What do you call it when Kermit throws a tantrum? A frog-out!
5. Why don’t they let Kermit play poker? Because he always gets a good hand, ribbit!
6. How does Kermit navigate through the forest? On a toad-map!
7. What do you get if you cross Kermit with a skyscraper? A frog that needs to leap buildings in a single bound!
8. What do you call a frog with no hind legs? Unhoppy!
9. How does Kermit take his coffee? With a little green cream and sugar, ribbit!
10. Why was Kermit invited to speak at the science conference? Because he’s an expert in the field of green chemistry!
11. What did Kermit say when he heard a funny joke? “That really croaks me up!”
12. How does Kermit send a letter? By using a froggy-gram!
13. Why did the frog go to the car dealership? He wanted to test-drive a new croak-ett!
14. What do you call a detective frog? Sherlock Croak!
15. Why was it easy for Kermit to get a job as a lifeguard? He’s great at making waves!
16. How does Kermit handle stress? He just hops to it!
17. Why did Kermit take up gardening? To sit back and watch the flowers bloom-nation!
18. What’s Kermit’s favorite season? The croak-us!
19. Why did the frog bring a suitcase to the pond? He was planning to hop on a rib-bit adventure!
20. How does Kermit write his memoirs? With his life in order Ð frogretfully yours!
Kermit Dad Jokes
1. Why did Kermit go to the bank? To check his frog account!
2. What did Kermit say to Miss Piggy on Valentine’s Day? “You make my heart leap!”
3. How does Kermit keep in shape? He does ribbiting exercises!
4. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the pond? To leap frog!
5. What did Kermit say when he bumped into a wall? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to croak up on you!”
6. Why did Kermit bring a baseball bat to the pond? In case he needed to hit a home toad!
7. What do you call it when Kermit’s band plays a good song? A frog-tastic performance!
8. Why did Kermit become a detective? To solve the case of the missing flies!
9. What did Kermit say when he couldn’t find his car keys? “I guess I’ll have to hop on the bus!”
10. Why did Kermit bring a pencil to the pond? In case he needed to draw some amphibians!
11. What do you call it when Kermit takes a selfie? A froggy snapshot!
12. Why did Kermit start a garden? He heard it was good for his croak health!
13. What did Kermit say when he won the frog jumping contest? “I’m leaping for joy!”
14. Why did Kermit use a calculator in the pond? To do some ribbiting math!
15. What do you call it when Kermit tells a joke? A hop-pun!
16. Why did Kermit become a chef? He heard flies were a delicacy in some countries!
17. What did Kermit say when he got a sore throat? “I think I have a frog in my throat!”
18. Why did Kermit go to the doctor? He was feeling a little green!
19. What do you call it when Kermit goes on a diet? A croak cleanse!
20. Why did Kermit bring a map to the pond? In case he needed to hop in the right direction!
Kermit Surreal Jokes
1. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were “ribbit-ing” up top!
2. What did Kermit say when he found out he won the lottery? “It’s not easy being green… and rich!”
3. How does Kermit like his sandwiches? Green, with a side of flies!
4. Why did Kermit go to school with a snorkel? To prepare for his “ribbit” lessons!
5. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop… because it’s full of hopping!
6. How does Kermit stay in shape? He jumps to conclusions all the time!
7. Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy? She wanted a relationship, he wanted “un-frog-gettable” memories!
8. What does Kermit wear to bed? A green pajama suit with webbed feet slippers!
9. Why did Kermit go to the doctor? He was feeling a little “green” under the weather!
10. What’s Kermit’s favorite snack? “Croak-ers” and cheese!
11. Why did Kermit go to the haunted house? He heard it was a “boo-tiful” place to jump around!
12. What did Kermit say when he got a parking ticket? “But officer, I was just following the traffic “ribbit” laws!”
13. How does Kermit take his coffee? With a little bit of “croak” and sugar!
14. Why did Kermit bring a sword to the party? He wanted to show off his “froggy” skills!
15. What’s Kermit’s favorite movie genre? Croak-tion films!
16. How does Kermit like to relax? By sitting on a lily pad and watching the tadpoles swim by!
17. Why did Kermit become a detective? He heard there was a “ribbit-ing” mystery to solve!
18. What did Kermit say when he won the dance competition? “I guess it’s easy being green… and a great dancer!”
19. How does Kermit feel about puns? He thinks they’re “toad-ally” hilarious!
20. Why did Kermit join the circus? He heard they needed a master at “ribbit-ing” tricks!
Kermit Dark Humor Jokes
Here’s some funny Kermit jokes for adults:
1. Why did Kermit break up with Miss Piggy? She couldn’t handle his dark sense of humor.
2. What did Kermit say to the fly? “You’re really bugging me.”
3. Why did Kermit go to therapy? To work through his deep-seated issues with being green.
4. What’s Kermit’s favorite board game? Sorry! Because he always feels green with envy when he loses.
5. Why did Kermit start a landscaping business? He heard the grass is always greener on the other side.
6. How does Kermit like his coffee? Mocha-ribbit-o.
7. What do you call a group of frogs playing music? A band of croakers.
8. Why did Kermit become a detective? He heard it was a ribbiting career.
9. Why doesn’t Kermit like to play hide and seek with Fozzie Bear? Because he always gives himself away with his uncontrollable laughter.
10. Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house.
11. What’s Kermit’s favorite type of music? Hip hop Ð because he can always drop the mic and hop away.
12. Why did Kermit try stand-up comedy? He heard it was a good way to work on his croak-timing.
13. What’s Kermit’s favorite scary movie? “The Frog-chitects.”
14. Why did Kermit call Animal Control? Because Gonzo was playing with his chickens again.
15. Why did Kermit bring a pig to the poker game? He heard it was good to have a little bacon on the side.
16. Why did Kermit go to the doctor? He was feeling a bit green around the gills.
17. How did Kermit become so good at basketball? He’s always practicing his jump shot.
18. What did Kermit say to the nosy neighbor? “Mind your own lily pad!”
19. Why did Kermit become a chef? He heard the best way to a frog’s heart is through his stomach.
20. What’s Kermit’s favorite holiday movie? “Frog Alone” Ð he can really relate to the main character.
How to Use Kermit Jokes In a Conversation?
Kermit the Frog jokes are a fun and creative way to lighten up any conversation. The beloved Muppet character is known for his quirky personality and humorous antics, making him the perfect source of entertainment. Whether you’re looking to break the ice with a new acquaintance or simply inject some laughter into a dull moment, incorporating Kermit jokes into your conversations can bring joy and laughter to those around you.
Ice Breaker
One way to use Kermit jokes in a conversation is as an ice breaker. Begin by subtly mentioning your fondness for Kermit the Frog, perhaps by referencing a favorite Muppet movie or song. This can lead to a natural segue into sharing a Kermit joke to lighten the mood and create a sense of camaraderie with the person you’re speaking to. For example, you could say, “Did you hear about the time Kermit went to the bank? He wanted to open a ‘New Account!'”
Segue into a Story
Another way to incorporate Kermit jokes into a conversation is to use them as a segue into a related story or anecdote. For instance, if the topic of pets comes up, you could say, “You know, Kermit once had a pet goldfish named Bubbles. He used to sing ‘Under the Sea’ to Bubbles every morning!” This not only adds humor to the conversation but also allows you to share a fun fact or personal story.
Lighten the Mood
During a tense or serious discussion, a well-timed Kermit joke can help lighten the mood and diffuse any tension. For example, if a meeting at work becomes particularly stressful, you could interject with a Kermit joke like, “Why did Kermit bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!” This unexpected humor can provide a much-needed break from the seriousness of the conversation.
By using Kermit jokes in various ways, you can bring laughter and joy to your interactions with others. Whether as an ice breaker, a segue into a story, or a mood lightener, these jokes are sure to entertain and uplift those around you.
Final words
In conclusion, Kermit the Frog has become an iconic figure in pop culture thanks to his quirky personality and memorable catchphrases. His green, Muppet presence has sparked a myriad of hilarious Kermit jokes that continue to entertain people of all ages. Whether it’s his existential crisis or his relationship woes with Miss Piggy, Kermit jokes have a universal appeal that can bring a smile to anyone’s face.
The internet has played a significant role in spreading these jokes far and wide, allowing fans to share their favorite Kermit moments with a global audience. From social media posts to memes, the creativity and wit behind these jokes showcase the enduring popularity of everyone’s favorite frog. It’s clear that Kermit jokes have a special place in the hearts of many, proving that laughter truly is the best medicine.
So next time you need a good chuckle, just remember the countless hillarious Kermit jokes waiting to brighten your day and bring a little green joy into your life.