Looking to add a touch of humor to your day? Get ready to laugh with a collection of hilarious jiu jitsu jokes. These light-hearted quips and jests are sure to bring a smile to the faces of both jiu jitsu practitioners and fans alike. Whether you’re a black belt or a newbie to the martial art, these jokes are bound to strike a chord with anyone familiar with the world of jiu jitsu.
From playful jabs at common jiu jitsu scenarios to witty remarks about belt rankings, these jokes offer a humorous take on the challenges and triumphs of training in this ancient martial art. Whether you’ve experienced the thrill of landing the perfect submission or the frustration of being caught in an endless loop of guard passes, these jokes will resonate with anyone who has spent time on the jiu jitsu mats.
So grab your gi and get ready to chuckle as you dive into the world of jiu jitsu humor. These jokes are perfect for sharing with training partners, coaches, and fellow jiu jitsu enthusiasts. Get ready to bond over the shared experiences and inside jokes that make the jiu jitsu community such a unique and welcoming place.
Best Jiu Jitsu Jokes
Here’s five jokes about Jiu Jitsu:
1. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a calendar to class? To learn how to “choke” the days away!
2. How does a jiu jitsu artist open a jar? With a “knee-bar” twist!
3. What did the jiu jitsu instructor say to the student who kept falling asleep in class? “Time for a ‘sleeper’ hold!”
4. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter go to the bank? To make some “armbar” deposits!
5. What do you call a jiu jitsu match between two rabbits? A “hare” vs. “hare” roll!
Family Friendly Jiu Jitsu Jokes
Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Jiu Jitsu:
1. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a ladder to class?
2. How did the jiu jitsu instructor greet the new student?
3. What did the grape say when it got stepped on during jiu jitsu practice?
4. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter always carry a pencil to class?
5. How does a jiu jitsu practitioner answer the phone?
6. Why was the jiu jitsu student always calm and collected during sparring?
7. What did the jiu jitsu fighter say to the overly competitive opponent?
8. Why did the jiu jitsu master refuse to play hide and seek?
9. How did the jiu jitsu practitioner prepare for a big tournament?
10. Why was the jiu jitsu student afraid of algebra class?
11. What did the jiu jitsu fighter say after winning the championship?
12. Why did the jiu jitsu instructor always carry a map?
13. How does a jiu jitsu student make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich?
14. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter refuse to play chess?
15. What did the jiu jitsu student say to the vending machine that ate their money?
16. Why did the jiu jitsu practitioner bring a towel to class?
17. How did the jiu jitsu instructor respond to the student who asked too many questions?
18. What did the jiu jitsu fighter dress up as for Halloween?
19. Why did the jiu jitsu student refuse to watch horror movies?
20. How does a jiu jitsu black belt tell time?
Jiu Jitsu Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes
1. Why did the jiu jitsu practitioner bring a pencil to class? In case they needed to jot down some arm bars!
2. How does a jiu jitsu fighter make their bed? With a triangle choke!
3. What do you call a jiu jitsu match between two fruit? A grape choke!
4. Why was the jiu jitsu student always calm? They knew how to flow with the roll!
5. How does a jiu jitsu fighter check the weather? They look outside and see if it’s raining armbars!
6. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter stay in school? Because they wanted to be a black belt in education!
7. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop jiu jitsu!
8. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring their phone to class? To take some selfie sweeps!
9. What do you call a jiu jitsu match in outer space? A zero gravity roll!
10. How did the jiu jitsu class stay warm in the winter? They huddled up in a guard position!
11. Why did the jiu jitsu practitioner bring a map to class? To show their opponent the quickest route to the ground!
12. What do you call a jiu jitsu fighter who loves to cook? A kimura chef!
13. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter go to the bank? To make a withdrawal with a rear naked choke!
14. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite type of movie? Groundhog Day, because it’s all about repetition!
15. Why did the jiu jitsu practitioner go to the art gallery? To appreciate all the beautiful submissions!
16. How does a jiu jitsu fighter answer the phone? With a sweep hello!
17. What do you call a jiu jitsu fighter who’s good at math? A submission specialist!
18. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring a deck of cards to class? To practice their shuffle guard!
19. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite dessert? Mata Leon tart!
20. Why was the jiu jitsu class always so loud? Because they loved to shout “Oss!” after every successful technique!
Jiu Jitsu Dad Jokes
1. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a map to class? Because they heard they were going to be working on their “ground control.”
2. How does a jiu jitsu student answer the phone? “Arm bar calling!”
3. Why do jiu jitsu fighters make terrible gardeners? Because they always end up in someone else’s guard.
4. What do you call a jiu jitsu fighter who’s always late? Tardy guard-y.
5. Why did the jiu jitsu student start a band? Because they heard they needed to work on their “chokes” and “joint locks.”
6. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite kind of music? Hip-hop arm bars.
7. Why was the jiu jitsu fighter a terrible chef? Because everything they made ended up getting choked out!
8. How do jiu jitsu fighters stay in touch? They always keep a good grip on their relationships.
9. Why did the jiu jitsu student join the debate team? To practice their “argument” escapes.
10. What did the jiu jitsu coach say to the unruly student? “You better shape up or I’ll have to put you in time-out… in my guard!”
11. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter become a comedian? They heard their jokes were a knockout!
12. How do jiu jitsu fighters like their coffee? Ground up and ready to roll.
13. Why did the jiu jitsu student carry around a dictionary? To look up all the “choke” and “sweep” terms.
14. What do you call a jiu jitsu belt that won’t keep its pants up? A hip toss.
15. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a ladder to class? To work on their “elevated guard.”
16. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite type of footwear? Chokes.
17. How does a jiu jitsu student like their sandwiches? Full of submissions!
18. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter open a bakery? They heard they needed to work on their “breadth of submissions.”
19. What did the jiu jitsu fighter say to the rude opponent? “You better watch out before I arm bar you from our friendship!”
20. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a deck of cards to class? To practice their “guard passes.”
Jiu Jitsu Surreal Jokes
1. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a ladder to class? To work on their high guard!
2. How does a jiu jitsu practitioner answer the phone? With a cross-collar choke!
3. What do you call a bear that practices jiu jitsu? A grappling bear!
4. Why do jiu jitsu fighters make terrible chefs? Because they always want to take things to the ground!
5. What did the jiu jitsu coach say to the student who kept losing their balance? “You need to put your grappling hooks in properly!”
6. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a map to class? To work on their guard passing!
7. What’s a jiu jitsu artist’s favorite type of music? Choke and roll!
8. What do you call a jiu jitsu match between two coffee lovers? Grounds for submission!
9. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring a pencil to class? To take down notes!
10. How did the jiu jitsu fighter break up with their partner? With a rear-naked choke!
11. Why did the jiu jitsu professor go to the doctor? Because they had a bad case of triangle choke!
12. What did the jiu jitsu fighter say to their opponent who kept stalling? “Time to sweep you off your feet!”
13. How do jiu jitsu fighters stay cool during a match? They use their air conditioning!
14. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite type of sandwich? A triangle choker!
15. Why did the jiu jitsu student bring a dictionary to class? To work on their submissions!
16. Why did the jiu jitsu practitioner refuse to play hide and seek? Because they always give away their position with their Gi!
17. What do you call a jiu jitsu fighter who loves to garden? A rear-naked chokeberry!
18. Why do jiu jitsu fighters make great detectives? Because they’re experts at finding angles!
19. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite board game? Chokekers!
20. Why was the jiu jitsu fighter always calm during matches? Because they had mastered the art of Zen-choking!
Jiu Jitsu Dark Humor Jokes
Here’s some funny Jiu Jitsu jokes for adults:
1. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring a map to practice? In case they got lost in someone’s guard!
2. What do you call a jiu jitsu instructor who loves to garden? A chokeologist!
3. Why did the jiu jitsu practitioner refuse to go skydiving? They were afraid of getting caught in someone’s guard mid-air!
4. How did the jiu jitsu fighter break up with their significant other? They said, “It’s not you, it’s my love for armbars!”
5. What did the jiu jitsu black belt say to the white belt who kept asking questions during class? “You sure have a lot of guard to be asking me that!”
6. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring a ladder to the competition? To reach new levels in their guard game!
7. How does a jiu jitsu fighter decorate their house? With lots of choke-holds and armbar-themed decor!
8. What do you call a jiu jitsu tournament in outer space? A guard-ian of the galaxy competition!
9. Why don’t jiu jitsu fighters ever play hide and seek? Because good luck hiding when you’re always in someone’s guard!
10. Why was the jiu jitsu practitioner always calm during matches? They had mastered the art of Zen-choking their opponents!
11. What’s a jiu jitsu fighter’s favorite type of music? Choke and roll!
12. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring a shovel to practice? To dig themselves out of tricky situations!
13. How did the jiu jitsu black belt start their day? With a cup of triangle choke-late!
14. How did the jiu jitsu practitioner apologize to their opponent? They said, “Sorry for being so armbarrogant!”
15. What do you call a jiu jitsu fighter who’s also a chef? A master of the choke-hold cuisine!
16. Why did the jiu jitsu fighter bring a compass to training? To navigate their way through someone’s guard!
17. How does a jiu jitsu fighter make decisions? They go with their gut, or their opponent’s throat!
18. Why did the jiu jitsu black belt become a gardener? They loved putting people in chokes and planting submissions in their minds!
19. What do you call a jiu jitsu fighter in a hurry? A fast choke artist!
20. How does a jiu jitsu fighter shop for clothes? They always make sure to pick out outfits that won’t restrict their guard game!
How to Use Jiu Jitsu Jokes In a Conversation?
Jiu jitsu jokes can add a fun and lighthearted element to a conversation, especially for those who are familiar with the martial art. Whether you’re talking with fellow practitioners or just trying to break the ice with some new acquaintances, incorporating jiu jitsu jokes can help lighten the mood and create a sense of camaraderie. Here are some tips on how to effectively use jiu jitsu jokes in a conversation:
Know Your Audience
Before cracking a jiu jitsu joke, it’s important to gauge your audience and their familiarity with the sport. If you’re talking to fellow jiu jitsu practitioners, they’ll likely appreciate the humor and may even have some jokes of their own to share. On the other hand, if you’re speaking with people who are unfamiliar with jiu jitsu, you may need to provide some context or explain the joke to ensure it lands.
Use Jokes Sparingly
While jiu jitsu jokes can be a fun addition to a conversation, it’s important not to overdo it. Using too many jokes in quick succession can come off as forced or repetitive. Instead, sprinkle in a joke here and there to keep the conversation light and engaging.
Keep It Light-Hearted
Jiu jitsu can be a physically demanding and intense sport, so using jokes that poke fun at the struggles and challenges of training can help create a sense of camaraderie among practitioners. Just be sure to keep the jokes light-hearted and avoid any topics that may be sensitive or offensive to others.
Stay Relevant
When using jiu jitsu jokes in a conversation, try to keep them relevant to the topic at hand. Whether you’re discussing a recent training session, a tournament experience, or a specific technique, tailor your jokes to the context of the conversation to ensure they resonate with your audience.
Be Open to Joke Exchange
Jiu jitsu jokes are a two-way street, so be open to sharing and receiving jokes from others. Encouraging a playful and humorous atmosphere can help strengthen bonds with your training partners and fellow practitioners, making your jiu jitsu experience all the more enjoyable.
Final words
In conclusion, jiu jitsu jokes offer a light-hearted and humorous take on the martial art, often poking fun at common situations and stereotypes within the jiu jitsu community. These jokes serve to unite practitioners in shared laughter and provide a moment of respite from the rigorous training and intense competition that characterize the sport. Whether it’s exaggerating the challenges of tying a belt or playfully teasing the obsession with training, jiu jitsu jokes showcase the camaraderie and spirit of fun that are integral to the jiu jitsu world.
With their clever wordplay and relatable scenarios, these jokes resonate with jiu jitsu enthusiasts of all levels, from beginners to seasoned black belts. They offer a glimpse into the unique culture and quirks of the jiu jitsu community, fostering a sense of belonging and shared experiences among practitioners worldwide. So next time you’re rolling on the mats, take a moment to appreciate the hilarity of jiu jitsu jokes and the joy they bring to the martial arts world.