Hamlet Jokes: 10 Hilarious Puns and One-Liners from Shakespeare’s Tragedy

Prepare for a royal laughter riot with these hilarious Hamlet jokes that will have you quoting Shakespeare in a whole new light. From puns inspired by the iconic characters to witty takes on famous lines, these jokes are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone and make you appreciate the timeless humor of the Bard of Avon.

As one of Shakespeare’s most famous tragedies, Hamlet provides ample material for comedic reinterpretation. With its complex characters and intricate plot, the play offers a rich tapestry of source material for clever wordplay and satire. Whether you’re a literature connoisseur or just a casual fan, these jokes are sure to entertain and amuse.

So, sit back, relax, and indulge in some literary humor as we explore the lighter side of Hamlet. These jokes are a tribute to the enduring popularity of Shakespeare’s work and a reminder that even the most poignant tragedies can inspire laughter and delight.
funny hamlet jokes

Best Hamlet Jokes

Here’s five jokes about Hamlet:

1. Why did Hamlet carry a sword to the comedy show? In case there were any “pun” ishers!
2. What do you call it when Hamlet accidentally orders a decaf coffee? To be or not to bean!
3. Why was Hamlet always calm during a storm? Because he had the tempest in a teapot!
4. How does Hamlet enjoy a good book? He likes to read between the “lines” of tragedy!
5. What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Skull-tal!

Family Friendly Hamlet Jokes

Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Hamlet:

1. Why did Hamlet carry a torch?
Because he thought it was a stage light!

2. How does Hamlet like his oatmeal?
To be or not to be cooked!

3. What’s Hamlet’s favorite ride at the fair?
The roller ghoster!

4. Why did Hamlet break up with Ophelia?
Because she was acting too fishy!

5. What did Hamlet say when he found out he had a dentist appointment?
“Alas, poor tooth! I knew him, Horatio.”

6. Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the theater?
To reach the high drama levels!

7. How did Hamlet fix his computer?
He tried turning it off and on again, but alas, poor Yorick, it still didn’t work!

8. What do you call Hamlet’s pet pig?
Omelet!

9. Why did Hamlet bring a mirror to the duel?
To reflect on his decisions!

10. What do you call a group of Hamlet actors?
The playstation!

11. How did Hamlet stay in shape?
He did the “to be or not to be” yoga pose every morning!

12. What do you call a ghost that haunts a bakery?
A pie-ritual spirit from “Hamlet”!

13. Why did Hamlet break the clock?
Because time was not on his side!

14. What’s Hamlet’s favorite dessert?
Skull-shaped pudding – it’s to die for!

15. Why did Hamlet go to therapy?
To work out his family issues!

16. How does Hamlet like his coffee?
To be or not to be decaf, that is the question!

17. What do you call Hamlet’s smartphone?
The “Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio” phone!

18. Why did Hamlet bring a map to the graveyard?
To find his way out of his own plot!

19. How does Hamlet take his tea?
To be or not to be steeped for too long!

20. Why was Hamlet always calm in a crisis?
Because he had a “To Do or Not To Do” list!

Hamlet Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes

1. Why did Hamlet carry a lint roller? To be or not to be, that is the question of lint.
2. What do you call it when Hamlet’s father loses his temper? A ghost-erbuster!
3. Why couldn’t Hamlet draft a good fantasy football team? He couldn’t decide if he should play Ophelia or not.
4. What did Hamlet say when he saw a slice of pie? Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well.
5. How does Hamlet like his coffee? To the last drop.
6. What’s Hamlet’s favorite type of music? Existential rock!
7. Why don’t we ever invite Hamlet to karaoke night? He always takes forever to decide what song to sing.
8. Why did Hamlet always bring a map with him to the beach? To bury or not to bury in the sand, that is the question.
9. What did Hamlet say when he saw his favorite Shakespeare play? This is the Bard’s work, not mine own.
10. Why did Hamlet open up a bakery? To be or not to be a baker, that is the question.
11. What does Hamlet do when he gets writer’s block? He takes a Shakespeare break.
12. Why did Hamlet break up with his girlfriend? He heard she was two-faced.
13. What’s Hamlet’s favorite game? To chess or not to chess.
14. Why did Hamlet turn down the promotion at work? He couldn’t decide if he wanted to be the king of the office.
15. What does Hamlet want to do after school? To study or not to study, that is the question.
16. Why does Hamlet always carry a mirror? To reflect on his decisions.
17. What did Hamlet say when he saw a ghost on Halloween? To boo or not to boo.
18. Why don’t Hamlet and Ophelia ever go camping? They’re always too busy contemplating the stars.
19. What did Hamlet say when he got a bad haircut? Alas, poor barber! I knew him not well.
20. Why did Hamlet become a musician? He wanted to play the melancholy Dane-joline.

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Hamlet Dad Jokes

1. Why did Hamlet carry a tissue to the castle? Because he had to be prepared for all the tragedy that was about to unfold!
2. How does Hamlet like his coffee? To be or not to be a latte!
3. What did Hamlet say when he lost his keys? Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him well.
4. Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the play? To have a “high” drama experience!
5. What do you call it when Hamlet loses his temper? To have a “ham-let” moment!
6. Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he had too many ghosts haunting him!
7. What did Hamlet say when he couldn’t find his favorite book? Something is rotten in the state of my bookshelf!
8. Why did Hamlet break up with Ophelia? Because he heard she was two-faced – “To be or not to be, that is the question!”
9. Why did Hamlet bring a map to the graveyard? To figure out the “Yorick and Morty” location!
10. Why did Hamlet become a gardener? Because he’s always contemplating whether to plant or not to plant!
11. Why did Hamlet fail math class? Because he was always hesitant to do the adding, subtracting, and dividing.
12. Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide and seek with Ophelia? Because he always thought Ophelia would end up hiding behind the arras!
13. Why did Hamlet have trouble getting a good night’s sleep? Because he was always fighting with his inner demons!
14. Why did Hamlet join a band? Because he wanted to be a part of the “Skull and Crossbones” crew!
15. Why did Hamlet have trouble with his diet? Because he couldn’t decide whether to have “to beef or not to beef.”
16. Why did Hamlet bring a ghost to the costume party? Because he wanted to win the “Most Haunting Costume” award!
17. Why did Hamlet enjoy shopping at the flea market? Because he loved searching for hidden treasures like Yorick’s skull!
18. Why did Hamlet challenge Laertes to a fencing match? Because he heard Laertes was the “point” of attention!
19. Why did Hamlet open a bakery? Because he loved making Danish pastries in honor of his heritage!
20. Why did Hamlet become a detective? To investigate the mystery of King Hamlet’s murder – to be or not to be the culprit!

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Hamlet Surreal Jokes

1. Why did Hamlet bring a pencil to the play? To be or not to beÉsketchy.
2. What do you call it when Hamlet forgets to put on sunscreen? A well-tanned of Denmark.
3. Why did Hamlet start a gardening business? To be or not to beÉa rosebush.
4. WhatÕs HamletÕs favorite type of party? A skull-et party.
5. How does Hamlet like his eggs? To be or not to beÉscrambled.
6. Why did Hamlet bring a ladder to the castle? To be or not to beÉhigh.
7. What did Hamlet say to the suspicious clown? ThereÕs something rotten in the mime of Denmark.
8. How does Hamlet take his coffee? To be or not to beÉcaffeinated.
9. Why did Hamlet go to the dentist? To be or not to beÉtoothache.
10. WhatÕs HamletÕs favorite type of music? To be or not to beÉjazz.
11. Why did Hamlet join a band? To be or not to beÉin tune.
12. What do you call it when Hamlet gets a haircut? A well-trimmed of Denmark.
13. Why did Hamlet bring an umbrella to the graveyard? To be or not to beÉraining on my soliloquy.
14. How did Hamlet do on his spelling test? To be or not to beÉgood at vowels.
15. WhatÕs HamletÕs favorite game? To be or not to beÉcharades.
16. Why did Hamlet go to the pet store? To be or not to beÉhedgehog.
17. How does Hamlet unwind after a long day? To be or not to beÉNetflix and chill.
18. What do you call it when Hamlet goes for a swim? A well-submerged of Denmark.
19. Why did Hamlet buy a new pair of shoes? To be or not to beÉstylish.
20. How does Hamlet like his steak cooked? To be or not to beÉmedium rare.

Hamlet Dark Humor Jokes

Here’s some funny Hamlet jokes for adults:

1. Why did Hamlet bring a pencil to the play? To dot all the i’s and cross all the t’s.
2. What did Hamlet say when he found out Ophelia couldn’t swim? “Looks like drowning is her backup plan.”
3. Why was Hamlet always calm during sword fights? Because he had a “to be or not to be” mentality.
4. Why did Hamlet make a terrible baseball player? Because he was always afraid to swing.
5. Why did Hamlet break up with Ophelia? Because he couldn’t handle her floating Yorick in the bath.
6. Why did Hamlet go to therapy? Because he suspected his uncle of being a little “off.”
7. What did Hamlet say when Horatio asked for dating advice? “Don’t go for girls whose dad you’ve killed.”
8. Why did Hamlet refuse delivery from the bakery? Because he heard they all had a “poisoned cookie” policy.
9. Why did the ghost of King Hamlet never have any parties? Because he was always such a killjoy.
10. Why did Hamlet want to become a chef? Because he heard it was the best way to dish out revenge.
11. What did Hamlet say when he found out the royal tomb had a disco ball? “Looks like they’re really raising the dead in there.”
12. Why did Hamlet make a terrible gardener? Because he kept burying things that wouldn’t stay dead.
13. Why did Rosencrantz and Guildenstern never go on a road trip with Hamlet? Because he always took the “scenic route” through graveyards.
14. What did Polonius say when he found out Ophelia was dating Hamlet? “I smell a tragic breakup in the air.”
15. Why did Hamlet refuse to play hide and seek with Ophelia? Because he knew he’d never find her in the river.
16. Why did Hamlet go to anger management classes? Because he had a habit of losing his head over family drama.
17. What did Hamlet say when he heard about Laertes’ new sword fighting technique? “I guess he’s really cutting edge now.”
18. Why did Hamlet fail as a detective? Because he was always too busy “to be” to solve any cases.
19. Why did Hamlet never get invited to family game night? Because he always brought a “killjoy” to the table.
20. What did Hamlet say when he found out Ophelia was seeing someone new? “Looks like I’m not the only one ghosted around here.”

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How to Use Hamlet Jokes In a Conversation?

Utilizing Hamlet jokes in a conversation can be a witty and clever way to showcase your knowledge of literature while also injecting some humor into the discussion. Here are some tips on how to effectively incorporate these jokes into your conversations:

Know Your Audience

Before dropping a Hamlet joke into the conversation, it’s important to consider your audience. Make sure the people you are talking to are familiar with the play and its characters. Otherwise, the joke may fall flat and leave others feeling confused.

Timing is Key

The timing of your Hamlet joke is crucial. Wait for a relevant moment in the conversation where the joke can naturally fit in. Whether you are discussing betrayal, family drama, or existential themes, find a seamless way to introduce the joke to maximize its impact.

Use Quotes or References

To make your Hamlet joke more authentic, consider using quotes or references from the play. Whether it’s a famous line like “To be or not to be” or a reference to a specific scene, integrating these elements into your joke can add depth and enhance its humor.

Keep it Light and Engaging

Hamlet jokes can be dark and morbid given the nature of the play, but it’s essential to keep the tone light and engaging. Avoid overly serious or somber jokes that may dampen the mood of the conversation. Instead, aim for witty wordplay or clever interpretations of Hamlet’s iconic scenes.

Practice and Experiment

Like any type of humor, using Hamlet jokes in conversation may require some practice. Experiment with different jokes, timing, and delivery to see what resonates best with your audience. Don’t be afraid to take risks and have fun with the material.

By following these tips, you can effectively incorporate Hamlet jokes into your conversations and impress others with your literary wit and humor. So go ahead, unleash your inner bard and infuse your discussions with a touch of Shakespearean comedy!

Final words

In conclusion, Hamlet jokes have stood the test of time and continue to bring laughter to audiences worldwide. Whether it be puns, wordplay, or classic comedic situations, the wit and humor found in these jokes are timeless. The versatility of these jokes also allows them to be adapted and reimagined in various forms of media, showcasing their enduring popularity.

With their clever wordplay and deep-rooted cultural significance, hillarious Hamlet jokes offer a refreshing take on the classic play while still paying homage to Shakespeare’s original work. Their ability to blend tragedy with comedy in a seamless manner makes them especially appealing to fans of both genres. So next time you find yourself in need of a good chuckle, consider revisiting some of these iconic Hamlet jokes for a dose of laughter and entertainment.

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