Get ready to celebrate Columbus Day with some hilarious Columbus Day jokes that are sure to tickle your funny bone. As the holiday approaches, these jokes will surely bring a smile to your face and lighten the mood. Whether you’re looking for a lighthearted way to commemorate the day or just in need of a good laugh, these jokes are the perfect addition to your celebrations.
From puns about Christopher Columbus to clever one-liners about his journey, these jokes are a playful way to honor the holiday and have some fun. Share them with friends and family to spread the laughter and make the day even more enjoyable. So sit back, relax, and get ready to chuckle with these light-hearted jokes that capture the spirit of Columbus Day.
Best Columbus Day Jokes
Here’s five jokes about Columbus Day:
1. Why did Christopher Columbus go to the gym on Columbus Day?
To work on his “discovery” channel!
2. What did Christopher Columbus say to his crew when they got lost at sea?
“I have a sinking feeling about this!”
3. How did Christopher Columbus communicate with the Native Americans?
He “spoke” their language – sign language!
4. Why did the teacher take away Christopher Columbus’s history book?
Because it was “past” his due date!
5. How did Christopher Columbus finance his voyage?
He used “discovery” credit card!
Family Friendly Columbus Day Jokes
Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Columbus Day:
1. Why did Columbus go to therapy? He had too many discoveries to process!
2. How does Columbus make his coffee? He uses the French press-it.
3. What did Columbus say when he landed in America? “Sea, I told you I would find it!”
4. Why did Columbus go to the gym? To work on his core values!
5. How did Columbus always know where he was going? He had a good sense of direction-‘s.
6. What did Columbus say when he saw land for the first time? “That looks shore-ly promising!”
7. What did Columbus do when he got lost at sea? He consulted his navi-gator!
8. Why was Columbus a terrible stand-up comedian? He couldn’t find the right continent for his jokes!
9. What did Columbus do with all his old maps? He filed them under “lost and found”!
10. What did Columbus use to navigate through difficult times? His inner compass-ion.
11. Why did Columbus bring a parrot on his voyages? For some chirpy company!
12. What did Columbus say when he discovered the New World? “This changes everything!”
13. Why did Columbus apply for a credit card? He heard they had great rewards points for travelers!
14. What did Columbus say to his crew when the weather got rough? “We’ll weather the storm together!”
15. Why did Columbus always bring a pencil on his voyages? To make sure he could draw his findings.
16. How did Columbus stay in touch with his friends back home? By sending long distance messages in a bottle!
17. What was Columbus’ favorite song on his voyages? “Come Sail Away” by Styx.
18. Why was Columbus always invited to parties? He knew how to navigate social waters!
19. What did Columbus say to the ocean when it was calm? “You’re looking quite pacific today!”
20. How did Columbus keep his crew motivated during long voyages? He told them they were “destined for greatness”!
Columbus Day Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes
1. Why did Columbus go to the bakery on Columbus Day? To get a slice of pie!
2. How did Columbus communicate with the crew on his ship? He used Nautical language!
3. What did Columbus say when he discovered America? “Wow, this place is a shore thing!”
4. Why did Columbus become a sailor? He heard the world was at his fingertips!
5. What did Columbus do when he got lost at sea? He followed the cookie crumb trail!
6. Why did Columbus wear a red shirt on his voyage? To avoid being mistaken for a buoy!
7. What did Columbus say to the sea serpent he encountered on his journey? “Ssssea ya later!”
8. Why did Columbus bring a parrot on his voyage? For some quality “squawk” time!
9. What did Columbus say to the sailors when they reached land? “Let’s make a splash in this new world!”
10. Why wasn’t Columbus invited to the sailboat party? He always made waves!
11. What did Columbus say when he found out he had landed in the Caribbean? “I found paradise but where’s the lounge chair?”
12. What did Columbus say to the Native Americans when he met them? “Hey, we have a lot in common – we both love land!”
13. Why did Columbus bring a map on his voyage? In case he needed to “sea” where he was going!
14. What did Columbus say to the crew when they doubted his direction? “I may be lost, but I’m never at a loss for confidence!”
15. Why did Columbus bring a compass on his journey? To make sure he stayed on the right track!
16. What did Columbus say to his crew when they reached America? “We made it – I guess you could say it’s a ‘shore’ thing!”
17. Why did Columbus sail west to find a new route to the East Indies? Because he wanted to make a quick left turn!
18. What did Columbus say to the sea monsters he encountered on his voyage? “You certainly kraken me up!”
19. Why did Columbus always carry a telescope on his voyages? To keep an eye on his discoveries!
20. What did Columbus say to Queen Isabella when he returned from his voyage? “Thanks for Columbus-ing my dreams into reality!”
Columbus Day Dad Jokes
1. Why did Christopher Columbus go to school?
To improve his navigator grades!
2. How did the Vikings celebrate Columbus Day?
They raided the fridge for some “new world” snacks!
3. What did Columbus say when he finally reached land?
“I think I’ll take a quick break before I start exploring. Let’s call this a little ‘shore leave’!”
4. How did Columbus pay for his journey?
With his “discovery” card!
5. Why did Columbus go to the doctor before his voyage?
To get his sea legs checked out!
6. What did Columbus use to navigate the seas?
His trusty GPS Ð the Global Positioning Sextant!
7. How did Columbus feel when he realized he found a new continent?
Ecstatic, he was over the world!
8. Why did Columbus bring a parrot on his ship?
He wanted a bird’s-eye view of the situation!
9. How did Columbus communicate with the indigenous people he encountered?
He tried to speak their language, but all he could say was, “Land ho!”
10. What did Columbus say to his crew when they ran out of food?
“Don’t worry, we’ll just have to make do with some ‘shore food’ for now!”
11. Why did Columbus wear a hat during his voyages?
To keep his “thoughts-land” safe from the sun!
12. How did Columbus stay in touch with his friends back in Spain?
He sent them messages in bottles labeled, “Greetings from the New World!”
13. Why did Columbus hate playing hide and seek with his crew?
Because they were always “off exploring” and never found him!
14. How did Columbus unwind after a long day of sailing?
He relaxed with a game of “Go Fish” Ð for, well, fish!
15. What did Columbus say to the ocean when it was being rough?
“Hey, could you please stop making waves? I’m trying to make history here!”
16. Why did Columbus bring his pet dog on the voyage?
He heard there were flea markets in the New World!
17. How did Columbus pick a spot to land?
He used a “compass rose” to guide him to the perfect spot!
18. Why was Columbus always invited to parties?
Because he always brought the world’s best tapas Ð they were out of this world!
19. What was Columbus’s favorite dessert?
New World pudding Ð it’s always a sweet discovery!
20. How did Columbus feel when he had to return to Spain after his voyage?
A bit shipwrecked Ð he was definitely “cruisin’ for a bruisin'” with that journey home!
Columbus Day Surreal Jokes
1. Why did Christopher Columbus go to therapy?
– To discover new lands within himself.
2. How did Christopher Columbus finance his voyages?
– With his “sea”cret stash of doubloons.
3. Why did the pirate refuse to celebrate Columbus Day?
– Because he didn’t want to “argh-gue” about it.
4. What did Columbus say when he discovered a clown fish?
– ÒI think IÕve found NemoÕs lost cousin!Ó
5. How did Columbus navigate the ocean without GPS?
– He followed the “sea” stars.
6. What did Columbus do when he got lost at sea?
– He asked the dolphins for directions.
7. Why did Columbus bring a parrot on his voyage?
– To have someone to “parley” with on long days at sea.
8. Why did Columbus always carry a map?
– In case he needed to “navigate” a tricky situation.
9. What did Columbus do when he ran out of food on the ship?
– He had a “shell” of a time fishing for his meals.
10. How did Columbus communicate with the Native Americans?
– He used his “pirate”nterpreter.
11. What snack did Columbus bring on his voyages?
– “Goldfish” crackers, of course!
12. Why was Columbus the worst at hide and seek?
– Because wherever he went, he always left a “trace” behind.
13. What did Columbus name his favorite compass?
– True “north”-y.
14. How did Columbus stay fit during his long voyages?
– By practicing his “sail”s.
15. Why was Columbus always the life of the party?
– Because he knew how to “navigate” a conversation.
16. What did Columbus say when he saw a mermaid?
– “I’ve discovered a whole new dimension of beauty!”
17. How did Columbus deal with seasickness?
– He just “waved” it off.
18. What did Columbus do when he found a deserted island?
– He started a new vacation resort called “Columbus Cove.”
19. Why did Columbus bring a telescope on his voyage?
– To “expand” his horizons.
20. What did Columbus do when he couldn’t find his ship?
– He said, “I must have been ‘boat’-ing too hard!”
Columbus Day Dark Humor Jokes
Here’s some funny Columbus Day jokes for adults:
1. Why did Columbus sail west? He heard the pay was better and the work-life balance was great.
2. Columbus only had three ships because he couldn’t get approved for a fleet credit card.
3. Columbus was such a bad navigator, he probably would’ve ended up in a Walmart parking lot if it wasn’t for the Americas.
4. Columbus’s favorite holiday? Land Ho-liday.
5. If Columbus were alive today, he’d probably be a Yelp reviewer complaining about the lack of Wi-Fi on his voyages.
6. Columbus always insisted on being called the “original influencer” because he made so many people unfollowed him.
7. Columbus’s idea of a successful trip? Finding new lands and not getting a one-star rating from his crew on Tripadvisor.
8. Columbus’s favorite joke? “Why did the pirate go to school? To improve his ‘arrrrr’-ithmetic.”
9. If Columbus had a podcast, it would probably be called “Navigating Life: The Columbus Chronicles.”
10. Columbus’s worst fear? His GPS saying “recalculating” in the middle of the Atlantic.
11. After Columbus’s journey, his crew probably didn’t need a gym membership anymore – talk about a workout.
12. Columbus’s hidden talent was making his crew believe that “are we lost?” is just another way of saying “adventure!”
13. If Columbus were a modern-day explorer, he’d probably be sponsored by Dramamine.
14. Columbus always said his favorite part of sailing was the “unbe-reef-able” views.
15. Columbus’s ship didn’t sink because it had “float” on its resume.
16. Columbus was so used to getting lost, he probably thought that “the journey is the destination” was just an excuse for not finding his way.
17. Columbus was the original “fasten your seatbelts, it’s going to be a bumpy ride” captain.
18. If Columbus were a comedian, his catchphrase would be “I’m not lost, I’m just geographically challenged.”
19. Columbus probably thought finding America was like winning the lottery, only with fewer taxes.
20. Columbus’s favorite song on his playlist? “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey – fitting, right?
How to Use Columbus Day Jokes In a Conversation?
Columbus Day jokes can be a fun and interactive way to start a conversation or lighten the mood in social settings. Here are some tips on how to use these jokes effectively:
Timing is Key
When incorporating Columbus Day jokes into a conversation, it’s essential to consider the timing. These jokes are often best received when the conversation naturally flows towards the topic of Columbus Day or historical events. Trying to force a joke into an unrelated conversation may come across as awkward or insensitive.
Know Your Audience
Before sharing Columbus Day jokes, it’s crucial to consider your audience. Make sure the jokes are appropriate for the setting and the individuals present. Some people may find humor in light-hearted jokes about Columbus Day, while others may have strong opinions on the historical significance of the holiday.
Keep it Light
Columbus Day jokes are meant to be light-hearted and humorous. Avoid making jokes that are offensive or disrespectful towards any cultural or ethnic group. Instead, opt for jokes that play on historical inaccuracies or the absurdity of Columbus’ voyages.
Engage in Reciprocal Humor
Encourage others to join in on the fun by inviting them to share their own Columbus Day jokes or historical puns. This can create a light and enjoyable atmosphere where everyone feels included and engaged.
Use Jokes Sparingly
While Columbus Day jokes can be a great way to add some humor to a conversation, it’s essential not to overdo it. Using too many jokes about the same topic can diminish their impact and come across as tiresome. Instead, sprinkle the jokes strategically throughout the conversation for maximum effect.
By following these tips, you can effectively incorporate Columbus Day jokes into your conversations and create a fun and engaging atmosphere for everyone involved. Just remember to be mindful of your audience and the context in which you are sharing the jokes for the best reception.
Final words
In conclusion, Columbus Day may be a controversial holiday, but that hasn’t stopped people from coming up with some hillarious Columbus Day jokes. These jokes often poke fun at Christopher Columbus and his famous voyage to the Americas, offering a lighthearted take on a historical figure. While the holiday itself may have a complex legacy, jokes about Columbus Day provide a humorous way to engage with the topic.
From clever puns to witty one-liners, the world of Columbus Day jokes offers a variety of comedic styles for everyone to enjoy. Whether you’re celebrating the holiday or not, these jokes can provide a moment of levity and laughter in the midst of discussions about historical events. So next Columbus Day, don’t be afraid to share a few of these jokes with friends and family for a good chuckle.