Best Man Jokes: Humorous Quotes and One-Liners for Wedding Toasts

Are you looking to add some humor to your best man speech? Look no further than this collection of hilarious best man jokes. Crafting a witty and entertaining speech can be a daunting task, but with the right jokes, you’re sure to have the crowd laughing and engaged throughout your toast.

A good best man joke can lighten the mood and create lasting memories for the newlyweds and guests alike. Whether you’re aiming for a subtle chuckle or a hearty belly laugh, these jokes are sure to hit the mark. From poking fun at the groom to sharing embarrassing (but endearing) stories, there’s a joke to suit every style of speech.

Remember, the key to a successful best man speech is balance. While jokes provide entertainment, it’s important to also share heartfelt sentiments and well-wishes for the happy couple. So sprinkle in some of these hilarious best man jokes to keep things lively, but don’t forget to also express your love and support for the newlyweds.
funny best man jokes

Best Best Man Jokes

Here’s five jokes about Best Man:

1. Why did the best man bring a ladder to the wedding? He heard the bride and groom were going to tie the knot!
2. I asked the best man if he was nervous about his speech, and he said, “No, I’ve been practicing my jokes in front of a mirror. I hope it doesn’t shatter with all the laughter!”
3. The best man’s speech was so heartwarming, even the cake started melting.
4. I heard the best man practiced his speech in front of his pet dog. Looks like he wanted to make sure he had at least one loyal listener!
5. The best man’s speech was like a fine wine – it got better with every sip of champagne in the room!

Family Friendly Best Man Jokes

Here’s some family friendly funny jokes about Best Man:

1. Why did the best man bring a ladder to the wedding? To raise the bar of humor, of course!

2. What did the best man say to the groom before the wedding? “Remember, marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right…and the other person is the groom!”

3. How does a best man pay for his wedding outfit? With a “tying the knot” discount!

4. Why did the best man bring a map to the wedding? In case the groom gets cold feet and tries to make a run for it!

5. What did the best man say when he forgot the rings? “Don’t worry, I’ll just call Frodo and he’ll deliver them for us!”

6. Why did the best man wear sunglasses to the wedding? To hide his tears of joy…or maybe from the bachelor party the night before!

7. What did the best man say to the groomsmen when they asked for advice on marriage? “Just remember, happy wife, happy life!”

8. Why did the best man bring a shovel to the wedding? To dig up some dirt on the bride and groom for the toast!

9. How many best men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but he’ll probably make a toast about it first!

10. What did the best man say when he dropped the wedding cake? “Don’t worry, it was just a practice cake for the real one!”

11. Why did the best man bring a fishing pole to the wedding? To catch the bouquet before anyone else does!

12. How did the best man respond when the groom asked if he was nervous? “Nervous? Me? I’ve been practicing my speech in the mirror for weeks!”

13. Why did the best man bring a stopwatch to the wedding? To make sure the groom doesn’t take too long saying his vows!

14. What did the best man say to the groom when he got cold feet? “Don’t worry, I’ll warm them up with some embarrassing stories during my speech!”

15. Why did the best man bring a deck of cards to the wedding? In case he needs to shuffle the seating arrangements at the last minute!

16. What did the best man say when the groom asked if he had the rings? “Of course I do, I’ve been carrying them around like Gollum with the ring!”

17. Why did the best man bring a playbill to the wedding? In case the groom forgets his lines during the ceremony!

18. How did the best man calm the nervous groom? By reminding him that a wedding is just a big party where you have to make a speech…and get married!

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19. Why did the best man bring a magic wand to the wedding? To make sure the bride and groom have a magical future together!

20. What did the best man say when the groom asked if he was ready? “Ready? I was born ready…to party at your wedding!”

Best Man Jokes One-liners – Short Jokes

1. “I asked the groom if he was nervous, and he said he was just practicing his dance moves for later.”
2. “I thought the bride and groom were perfect for each other until I saw him trying to dance.”
3. “I’ve never seen the groom so happy, probably because he finally realized he won’t be single for the rest of his life.”
4. “I hope the groom doesn’t expect marriage to be a piece of cake… unless it’s thrown in his face.”
5. “I tried to give the groom some marriage advice, but he said he’d rather take his chances.”
6. “I can always count on the best man to make a memorable toast… for better or for worse.”
7. “I told the groom he was punching above his weight with the bride, he just laughed and said he was working on his uppercuts.”
8. “They say a best man’s speech should last as long as it takes the groom to finish a pint. So, cheers to a short speech!”
9. “I hope the groom remembers the two most important words in a marriage: ‘Yes, dear.'”
10. “The groom may have been nervous, but at least he didn’t lose the ring… this time.”
11. “I told the groom he’d never find another woman like his bride. He said, ‘Thank goodness!'”
12. “I was worried the groom would be too emotional at the wedding, but then I saw his poker face during the vows.”
13. “I always knew the groom was a good catch… he just didn’t realize he was hooked for life.”
14. “The groom’s face lit up when he saw the bride walking down the aisle… or maybe it was just the fluorescent lights.”
15. “I told the groom marriage is all about compromise. He asked if that meant he could keep the TV remote.”
16. “I asked the groom if he was ready for the big day, and he said he had his suit, his speech, and a backup plan to run.”
17. “I tried to calm the groom’s nerves by reminding him that marriage is just a lifelong sleepover with your best friend… who steals the covers.”
18. “The groom looked so dashing in his suit, I almost didn’t recognize him without the sweatpants and beer.”
19. “The groom said he couldn’t wait to start his happily ever after with the bride… after one more round of golf.”
20. “I told the groom marriage is like a deck of cards, it starts with a diamond but could end with a club and a spade.”

Best Man Dad Jokes

1. Why did the best man bring a ladder to the wedding? He heard the bride and groom were reaching new heights together!
2. What do you call a best man whoÕs also a gardener? A Òbest prunerÓ!
3. Why did the best man wear a suit to the rehearsal dinner? He wanted to be ÒsuitedÓ for the occasion!
4. How does the best man like his eggs in the morning? Poached, just like his speeches!
5. What did the best man say when he lost the ring? ÒI guess I really dropped the ÔbandÕ on this one!Ó
6. Why did the best man bring an extra pair of shoes to the wedding? In case he had to Òtux and runÓ!
7. What did the best man say to calm his nerves before the toast? ÒI must-a-chardonnay down before I can speak!Ó
8. Why did the best man sit at the head table? Because thatÕs where the Òmaid of honor-ableÓ company was!
9. How did the best man get to be so good at giving speeches? He practiced ÒpunningÓ on his jokes!
10. Why did the best man bring a compass to the wedding? To make sure his speech was on the right ÒdirectionÓ!
11. What did the best man say to the groom before the ceremony? ÒAre you ready to ÔtuxÕ the plunge?Ó
12. Why did the best man go to the tailor before the wedding? He wanted to make sure he was ÒsuitedÓ up for the occasion!
13. What did the best man say to the nervous groom before the ceremony? ÒDonÕt worry, IÕll be the Ôbest supportÕ youÕve ever had!Ó
14. Why did the best man bring a map to the bachelor party? He didnÕt want to Òlose his bearingsÓ on the night!
15. What did the best man say to the groom before the first dance? ÒRemember, just ÔtuxÕ it out and have fun!Ó
16. Why was the best man always so calm under pressure? He had a ÒsuitÓ of armor against nervousness!
17. What did the best man say when he forgot his speech notes? ÒLooks like I better improvise Ð IÕm a ÔtuxÕedo of surprises!Ó
18. Why did the best man bring a snack to the wedding? He heard he would have to ÒtoastÓ the happy couple!
19. What did the best man say when he ran out of jokes during his speech? ÒI guess IÕll have to ÔtuxÕ it out and finish strong!Ó
20. Why did the best man bring a pen to the wedding? He heard there would be a ÒsignatureÓ moment during the ceremony!

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Best Man Surreal Jokes

1. Why did the best man wear sunglasses to the wedding? Because love was in the air, and he didn’t want to catch feelings!
2. I asked the best man if he was nervous about the speech, and he said, “Nervous? I’m not nervous, I’m just practicing my interpretive dance moves for later!”
3. The best man’s advice for a happy marriage: always remember to say “I love you” and “I’m sorry” in the same breath. It’s called multitasking!
4. Did you hear about the best man who tried to make a toast with invisible champagne? He said it was a sparkling success!
5. The best man’s secret to a successful marriage? Let your partner think they’re always right. It’s a win-win situation – they’re happy, and you’re always right behind them!
6. Why did the best man bring a ladder to the wedding? In case the bride and groom wanted to take their relationship to the next level!
7. The best man’s wedding gift? A magic eight ball, so the newlyweds can always have a reliable source for decision-making!
8. The best man’s outfit was so sharp, even the cake got jealous and asked for fashion advice!
9. The best man’s opening line for the speech? “Marriage is like a deck of cards – it starts with two hearts and a diamond, and ends with a club and a spade!”
10. The best man’s wedding survival kit includes duct tape, a stress ball, and a copy of “Marriage for Dummies!”
11. Did you hear about the best man who brought a penguin to the wedding? He said it was his honorary best mate!
12. The best man’s tip for a successful marriage? Always apologize first, even if you’re not sure what you did wrong. It’s called taking the “I’m sorry” road less traveled!
13. The best man’s wedding dance performance was so good, even the DJ asked for his playlist!
14. The best man’s wedding mantra? “Keep calm and marry on!”
15. The best man’s wedding toast was so funny, even the cake was in tiers of laughter!
16. The best man’s advice for a happy marriage? Treat each day like a piece of cake – sometimes it’s sweet, sometimes it crumbles, but there’s always a chance for frosting!
17. Did you hear about the best man who brought a magic wand to the wedding? He said he was there to sprinkle love and laughter everywhere!
18. The best man’s wedding outfit was so dapper, even the flowers blushed in comparison!
19. The best man’s wedding speech included a magic trick – he made the bride and groom disappear… into each other’s love!
20. The best man’s wedding gift idea? Matching his and hers reality checkbooks, for those moments when love defies logic!

Best Man Dark Humor Jokes

Here’s some funny Best Man jokes for adults:

1. Why did the best man bring a ladder to the wedding? To help the groom reach new heights in his marriage!
2. I asked the best man if he had any embarrassing stories about the groom. He said, “I don’t need to tell any. His wife already knows them all!”
3. The best man’s speech was like a mini-skirt – short enough to keep everyone’s attention, but long enough to cover the essentials.
4. The best man’s job is a lot like being a bullfighter – you have to keep the groom from making a total bull of himself.
5. My best man speech at the wedding was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
6. The best man’s speech was so bad, I heard the divorce lawyer took notes.
7. I told the best man to keep it short and sweet. He said, “Like the groom’s first marriage.”
8. The best man’s speech was a lot like a fart – short, smelly, and everyone was relieved when it was over.
9. The best man’s speech had everyone laughing so hard, even the cake was in tiers.
10. Why was the best man sweating during his speech? Because he accidentally revealed the groom’s browser history.
11. The best man’s speech was so boring, I thought about faking an emergency just to escape.
12. The best man’s speech was so cringeworthy, I almost wished I was the groom to escape the embarrassment.
13. The best man’s speech was like a bad movie sequel – nobody asked for it, and everyone wanted it to end.
14. The best man’s speech was so bad, even the DJ changed the song to Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep.”
15. The best man’s speech was like a bad one-night stand – awkward, regrettable, and nobody wanted a repeat.
16. The best man’s speech was a lot like a high school prom date – awkward, uncomfortable, and everyone just wanted it to be over.
17. The best man’s speech was so long, I thought he was auditioning for a Netflix special.
18. The best man’s speech was like a bad magic trick – predictable, cringeworthy, and everyone saw the disaster coming.
19. The best man’s speech was so bad, the groom started looking for the nearest exit.
20. The best man’s speech was like a bad Tinder date – uncomfortable, regrettable, and everyone wished they had swiped left.

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How to Use Best Man Jokes In a Conversation?

When used appropriately, best man jokes can be a great way to inject some humor into a conversation or speech. However, it’s important to tread carefully as inappropriate or offensive jokes can easily backfire. Here are some tips on how to effectively use best man jokes in a conversation:

Know Your Audience

Before delivering any jokes, it’s crucial to consider the audience you are addressing. Different jokes may resonate with different crowds, so be sure to tailor your humor to the preferences of those listening. What may be funny to one group may not be as well-received by another, so take the time to understand the audience’s sense of humor before proceeding.

Keep it Light and Playful

When incorporating best man jokes into a conversation, opt for lighthearted and playful humor. Avoid jokes that are too risque or offensive, as these can quickly turn sour. Instead, focus on anecdotes or playful jabs that celebrate the occasion and the individuals involved. Remember, the goal is to entertain and bring a smile to people’s faces, not to offend or embarrass anyone.

Use Humor to Connect

Humor can be a powerful tool for forging connections and breaking the ice in social situations. By sharing best man jokes that are relatable and engaging, you can help create a positive and inclusive atmosphere. Just be sure to gauge the reactions of those around you and adjust your approach accordingly. If a joke falls flat or makes someone uncomfortable, it’s best to gracefully move on to a different topic.

Timing is Key

Finally, remember that timing is everything when it comes to delivering jokes. Look for natural openings in the conversation to interject with a well-timed quip or anecdote. Avoid forcing humor or interrupting the flow of conversation just to share a joke. By waiting for the right moment, you can ensure that your best man jokes are well-received and enhance the overall experience for everyone involved.

Final words

In conclusion, incorporating humor into a best man’s speech can add a touch of levity to the wedding festivities and create lasting memories for the newlyweds and guests alike. Crafting witty and lighthearted best man jokes requires a balance of cleverness, sincerity, and appropriate timing. By using humor to celebrate the unique bond between the groom and the best man, these jokes can help set the tone for a joyful and unforgettable wedding day.

Whether poking fun at the groom’s quirks or recalling amusing anecdotes from their friendship, hillarious best man jokes are a great way to bring smiles and laughter to the reception. These jokes can help ease any tension and nerves, as well as strengthen the sense of camaraderie among the wedding party and guests. Above all, a well-delivered punchline can showcase the best man’s affection and admiration for the groom, making for a heartwarming and entertaining speech.